I'm a moose, damnit!

Artfags beware

I totally need to practice more on topless males.

Interpret that however you like.

:$

- Tease

I’m going to start postin’ art here

Yup. Once I get my new scanner, I’ll probably end up using this tumblr as a new art wall instead of that shitty photobucket stuff.

- Tease

Oh hey guys, I made a Mary Sue original character

His name was Helmer.

First time I met him, was at a bar. He was just another average bloke like me, taking a beer after a hard days work.
The only difference was that he was missing his left ear.
When I asked about it, he just muttered something about a childhood accident.

Second time I met him, we went out drinking, came back to my place and passed out together.

Third time, we didn’t even bother drinking, we went straight to my place and fucked.

Last time I saw him was when he stood above me with a smashed wine bottle, screaming that I stole his ear. I didn’t steal it, I swear.
He beat me again with the bottle and then he tore off my left ear.
That was the night I died. - Anonymous Bar Patron, deceased

This is possibly the most accurate description of Helmer from an eye witness. Makes Helmer sound like a maniac. But let’s get into details now, shall we…

In a world set at the end of a post apocalyptic happening, where societies have begun to resurface and the world is being rebuilt, Helmer lives.

Helmer grew up alone from the age of 16, when he ran away from an abusive single father that had taken to drinking after Helmer’s mother died in a car accident 10 years earlier which also cost Helmer’s left ear and part of his eye sight.

Helmer had his own sense of justice and personal grudge against drunks and often ended up in brawls with such people. He vowed to never drink alcohol himself, but soon fell to the temptation anyway.
He found work wherever he was needed, but with no education he was left to heavy lifting jobs and soon became quite bulky from all the lifting.
This also gave him quite the back problems.

At age 17 he got into a fight with a group of drunkards on his way back to the backalley he had made his home.
As they cornered and overwhelmed him, he managed to suprise the drunkards, as he snatched one of their bottles and smashed it against the nearest face.
At this point, everything inside Helmer burst. He beat the drunkards into pulp, and finished his massacre by tearing off each and every one of the drunkards ears, pocketing them before he ran away, his coat covered in blood.

Helmer ended up moving from town to town until he came upon a suburb in Sweden, after 9 years of running from the authorities, continueing his rampant killing spree.
26 years old, Helmer’s personality split into two.
His first personality was that of a murderer and a crazed drunk, a cold and calculating person, even while drunk.
His second personality was the complete opposite. Outgoing, emotional, romantic and ambitious, the second personality soon became more dominant and began rebuilding the life his first personality had thrown into ruins.

Unaware about his personality split, only experiencing blackouts for various periods of time, the Second Helmer lived in an apartment he managed to rent from his employer at a local gas station.
But the Second Helmer was ambitious and soon began reading at the local library to increase his knowledge. After taking up courses he soon graduated as a mechanic and began working in the gas stations garage fixing vehicles of all manners.

After 2 years in the suburbs, the first Helmer had resurfaced less and less often, and never caused any harm other than drinking too much, leaving the Second Helmer to wake up with a hangover outside the gas station where he lived and was employed.

But soon that which had almost become idyllic were ruined again.

A robbery occured in which the manager of the gas station were shot. In the face of danger, the second Helmer passed out, leaving free reign to the first Helmer, who took the chance and assaulted the robbers.
Startled by the sudden attack, one of the robbers fell and Helmer killed him without remorse.
As Helmer tore off the robbers left ear all the while cackling madly, the remaining robbers were terrified and fled.
And so did Helmer, overjoyed with his new trophy that could possibly be his long lost ear.

From here and on, the first Helmer began to adapt to the life the second Helmer had made for himself, slightly becoming aware of another personality resting within him.

The second Helmer however, remained unaware of the first personalities existance and became the new manager of the gas station, sighing with a cup of coffee in his hand as he read the morning headlines about a crazed killer collecting ears of his victims.

And here, our story begins…

This is Helmer:

Helmer is a 28 years old man that looks to be about his mid thirties with a split personality. He’s a killer and a psychopath, but does not look much like one.
Helmer is just another average guy, with average height (5 ft 10) and average weight (180-185 lb). He’s strong though, coming from years of hard work, with a muscular body underneath his clothing.

He’s got broad shoulders, and a constant beard stubble coming from refusal to shave every morning.
Helmer’s eyes are dark chestnut brown, matching his brown, scruffy hair.

Often clad in carpenters pants and a chequered shirt covered in oilstains and a truckers cap, Helmer also enjoys going out on Fridays for some nightlife and flirting, usually wearing his best set of pants, a clean shirt and an old bikers leather jacket that he has no idea where he found (that for some strange reason has some brownish red stains on the sleeves).

During work he often has steel toed workboots, but during his spare time he’s got a pair of cheap sneakers and for the special occassions a pair of leather sailor boots, specially given to him by his manager for outstanding service and dedication (and for not wearing any shoes to work for the first 5 months).

Helmer’s first personality
Likes: Blood, violence, booze, sex, left ears and puppies.
Dislikes: Drunks, women, cats, right ears, everyone and everything except for what he likes.
Spare time occupation: Looking for who to fuck next, drinking and collecting left ears, looking for that one special ear that can replace his missing one.

Helmer’s second personality
Likes: An earnest day of hard work, nice clothes, maintaining a social life, reading, coffee, nice people, cats
Dislikes: Drunks, alcohol, cigarettes, dogs, high noises, violence
Spare time occupation: Ambitions for even greater things to come, planning his future and trying to find THE Mr. Right.

When it’s time to sleep

There is nothing else to do on the internet.

Good night.

- Tease